My mind went back to the dinner table years earlier. Breaking the news of a divorce close to us to my girls. Ansley, having been the flower girl at the wedding, wanted to know if she would get to be the flowergirl at the divorce as well. How profound. Since she had been trusted as a witness to the beginning, she thought it perfectly logical that she would be there to witness the end, even if the party was a bit more somber. I had to explain that there would be no party this time.
So today as I walked the lawn, leaving tracks of freshly mowed grass in a striped pattern behind me, I pondered why we don't need witnesses for a divorce. I can see us dressed for a funeral, meeting at the courthouse to witness the death of something once beautiful. "It should be required!" my mind declared with resolve. Come along side the same two people in what is now their most needful time.
But then, the thunder of my thoughts quieted as I realized that there ARE witnesses to divorce....Far far too many witnesses. I realized that my life was a witness to divorce for many years. That the children of those who once loved each other continue to bear witness... for their entire lives in many situations. That their worth and security are forever marked by the judges stamp. Hearts are shaped and lives are lived with the impression that divorce leaves. How often when it comes time for their lives to bring about something beautiful they can only bear witness to that which they know. "he left" "she left" "the love left" "my home left" "my security left" "my worth left". How do you shape a life outside of witnessing that?
Silly to think that to witness divorce seemed so temporary in my mind; an event. To truly witness it is a permanent thing.
God, heal the witnesses as you continue to heal me. We can be more than what we've seen...but only in You.
